driven by soul and too much scotch

i wonder if he really wanted to die

i think about what that shotgun felt

like as he held it in his hands

was the barrel cool in his throat; did he gag?

what was his last confession?

a story of a safari gone awry or

his best friend having his leg blown

off in the great war

maybe he thought about a woman he loved

many years ago that didn’t love him back

all these thoughts in those last moments

living is waiting to die

building up to this last moment

channeling your goodbyes

love was a game but it was pretty to think so

of course he had these feelings so

what does that make me

as i contemplate hemingway’s

last lovely minutes?