riding in cars with boys

considering the options

i use a different approach

blank stares from across

this empty room

i try to remember what

it was i did wrong

problems swept under the rug

i go for a ride with the boys who

smell so nice and light my cigarettes

they are young, like me, hungry

almost agitated by female presence

i hold the power of a hot, humid saturday

sweaty, breathless words in the backseat

now i look through the window at the rain

and wish for something more than riding in cars

                                               \

with boys

i run downstairs and

out the door

 into the revving engine

of a translucent friend