october again

faded memories are crystallized by a late night six pack

still blurry from the tears i just can’t fight

he lurks in the shadows of my fear

the lingering odor of his sweat and my blood

i fall into the bathtub filled with ice

trying to sink into the freezing shallows

he wraps his noose around me and

keeps me warm for now

i cannot distinguish the smell on my hands

or the taste on my lips as he slips away

behind a closed, locked door

mourning a  dead dog or an empty bottle

he stumbles toward me and he has been crying

for what will happen next

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