doubts arising

with a word, time, he unhinges me

and i spin through the chaos once more

not able to breathe in the smell of roses

or see the light of the full moon

in this moment now i am left a child

watching a father walk away and blaming herself

and all those insecurities recur

and i feel the need to censor myself

then i remember those nights when i hid the diary

and it rushes back like tidal waves

the fear, the regret, the hope, the beauty

of that thing that captured me once in my youth

the feeling of gladly losing control and

surrendering yourself to the incantations of love, life

bring me drama, bring me pain and uncertainty

i have been so numb for so long

this is a welcome respite, this doubt

it puts me on my toes the place i function best

the artist’s interpretation has come to life

in all his intrepidness and impunity

i see the song i hear everytime

i walk through the door

when looking at this black and white photo

left from a sunny day in septmber

and the salty taste of sweat(mine and his)

lingers on my upper lip as i say softly,

i will love you forever

as long as the chains are never brought to mind


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