my pop song

my wings are bloodied from battle

as you hold me in your arms

tattooed and seeming like a knight

deep in this subconscious

i know this fight is for you

you are the thing i fear

that i will completely lose control

but it is the thing i seek

rightly or wrongly, what does it matter?

in my dreams

in my thoughts

in my cunt

i will be forward

and for that, daddy, i am sorry

but as i drive on towards my destiny

i ask for clemency

that you understand why

i had to kill you in my mind

to let you take over my body

i will repeat it again


i am yours

and as i write this

i know it is just a plea

a little girl’s shot in the dark

we are lost


you may be found

between the sheets

and in between time

the kind that floats and waves at you from

a bus terminal

you fucking bastard

as i sit and write and pine

you are much further

than i want you to be

so close

and so far

these miles that separate our destiny

were cute at first

but now i question every motive

and in my time i will realize

the nihilism in these

flights of fancy

but baby

i wake every morning with the dread

of the arguments that will come

no matter how i tiptoe around the issue

you in your absence of foresight

keep me continually in peril

so i may be begging for forgiveness

or asking you to push me away


i was born of this

the fire

and whether you read this or not

i will still collapse when you say

good girl

what is this

if not for the constant push

of one ego against another

we are

for all intents and purposes


but until then

let me be your punching bag

let me curl up under your

clenched fist

for to me

even in your hate

you are beautiful

and i want to be

under your control


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