goodnight, sweet prince

for brian ledoux

we were on top of the world

we were partners in crime

we were young and beautiful

i see you:

24 years old, joint in hand, broken angel

squinting in the sun like jesse james

laughing at the latest irony

quoting j.d. salinger

eight-year increments of space and time

two presidents, another war, a great divide

the ashes of your existence were scattered but

i was not invited so

i baptized myself in the mediterranean

i capsized on the sea of despair

i analyzed the importance of altruism

it does not slowly saw me in two

these images, flashes of life

before the great fire

i will remember your gentle energy

your divine spark

like seymour

like zooey

like buddha, a shaman, the little prince

the myth of sisyphus and the cerebus flanked

by gemini and kaya

i can no longer speak to the stars

in the hopes that you will hear me

i have come to terms that you cannot

we will never smoke

we will never laugh

we will never implode

with each other again

the long walk

the short pier

the short drop

the sudden stop

i must confess i lied when i said

i would never love again

those things we say in grief are too tall an order

now that i can feel again

i want to feel the way i do now

in his arms

in his presence

in my heart

accept my apologies

you were the impetus

you were the nexus

you were the roofbeam carpenter

goodbye

goodbye, atlantic ave.

goodbye, hill st.

goodbye, streets with no names

goodbye, five ladies and one little man

goodbye to the revolutionary street rat rapist

we should have never let in

goodbye camper, tmbg, and gbv

goodbye to the dead and all of our marleys

goodbye midnight runs and 4am phone calls

lavender, candlelight, nag champa, patchouli

i may never forgive myself

but i have forgiven you

for taking my youth

then not taking me with you

we weren’t strangers in the night

we were rimbaud’s ideal

i cannot put flowers in the place where you rest

i’m too far away from that barren forest

in heart

in mind

in miles

instead, i put these words to

the universe

the multiverse

verse

i love you and i always will

like father

like paka

like hunter

i reserve a table for you in

the tavern of my heart

i’ll meet you there for pounders and pizza

whenever you have the time

laters

farewell

goodbye

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