i heard that tune

again

you told me as we sat

in a borrowed room

on borrowed time

again

as the words coincided

stolid synchronicity

not to take it to heart

an oeuvre superior

by time or toil

i’m too exhausted to explain

i hope you come

again

i hope you come

i was impaled on the iron rod fence of your anger

while your best friend tried to drown me

in a bathtub filled with your tears

cold, hard steel accessorize my wrists

marks from the backseat and a broken bottle

i reek of an old .38

the one from your mother’s purse

while the whole time they were downstairs

watching black and white television

throughout the drive from jersey i heard one more time over and over and we timidly changed out of tie dye after entering easy rider country as i recounted the hippie myth of the koa murders the things that happened later in waco are fuzzy in my manic depressive mind lithium or xanax or effexor clouds what little memory survived of being 19?20? in texas with a giggling fairy mother who i once shared a tree with there was a mega wal-mart and a children’s soccer game a dog with diarrhea and a recreation of a nightmare from my youth and on a hot night she quickly sketched an infinity symbol that the lazy inker haphazardly slapped on the both of us

later i can’t remember when i deigned to have it covered in philly by professor ouch at philadelphia eddie’s it was a gift from my parents when anything else would be sold for rent or oxys and i don’t remember why i chose to cover it why i would hide a friendship that has lasted over a decade my solipsistic nature erasing histories of infinite love with drug-fueled narcissism my laughing buddha sister is about to be a mother again in cali and i am childless in amsterdam it’s hidden sammy-o but my everlasting connection is just there under the surface of the misshapen lotus a reminder that i have a friend on the opposite side of the world who every once in a while thinks of me