Tag: boys


this time it went too far
so i stand under the candy colored lights
my raging thoughts are like rapids
near the river where we once pondered
and i am so silent
you could be gathering daisies
or pushing them up for all i know
the thought causes my fist to slam
the wall of my conscience while
dripping the blood of my apathy


i’m day drinking with a
young orphan of an old war
who has beautiful shoulders
and is missing his canine teeth
while i stare at a bruise
on my knee
that seems like it has been
there for years
you are far away, running
so i find myself in the company
of blood splattered boys
with no hope and nowhere to go
i’ve delved into the dark side
of the street
now i need to change my style
this rhythm is repetitive
walking around in these shoes
that he wore
i pace to the mirror and back
searching for signs
of a scar


his scent is cannabis and cologne
while his kiss is sweet remembrance
words dance through his teeth
like tiny ballerinas
though i barely understand
wrapped in the blanket of deceit
i feel purified as
i slip my jeans on and
he slips his tongue down
my thankful throat
he quenches the thirst
i didn’t know i had but
all the time i know
how this will end:
a missing pair of panties
an unanswered phone call
and the promise of a
finish line


trying to fix him i took off my shirt
my pants and lay on the floor
trying to love him and make him
worship me i sliced his heart
with my fearless tongue
trying to impress him i wore
a tight shirt and calvin kleins
trying to kill every pain
trying to cover each scar
i drank smoked snorted fucked
why? she beckons
i want to fix it all
i want the pain to go
i want to know what this pain is
and where it came from

riding in cars with boys

considering the options

i use a different approach

blank stares from across

this empty room

i try to remember what

it was i did wrong

problems swept under the rug

i go for a ride with the boys who

smell so nice and light my cigarettes

they are young, like me, hungry

almost agitated by female presence

i hold the power of a hot, humid saturday

sweaty, breathless words in the backseat

now i look through the window at the rain

and wish for something more than riding in cars


with boys

i run downstairs and

out the door

 into the revving engine

of a translucent friend