Tag: rape

another taped box

strange day, a monday
a luxury car and diana ross
soon it was tuesday
dignity lost bruises on my knees
running home to tell the truth
you dirty whore, he said
wednesday and another
interrogation by those
i hate the most
and they called me a liar
thursday they taped my
favorite jeans in a box
like my sweater 20 years before
and now friday i am a prisoner
in my own home


realizations from foggy recollections
a touch on the forehead and a kiss on my cheek
ending up in the cluttered bathroom
of a cheap motel room
bruised and bleeding thinking of him not here
if only…the words on my lips
as he whispers apologies
maybe meant for someone else but said to me
i question my beliefs and let a long overdue
tear fall


they catch my animal scent
under overpasses
beneath bridges
i walk too seductively
my eyes catch theirs
and that’s the cue
to throw me against a wall
or down on a muddy path
they become the predator
and me their prey
my other self watches
remembering the others
while trying to erase this one
but a hot shower, a cold beer,
and a clean shirt and
i will be exactly how
i was before

october again

faded memories are crystallized by a late night six pack

still blurry from the tears i just can’t fight

he lurks in the shadows of my fear

the lingering odor of his sweat and my blood

i fall into the bathtub filled with ice

trying to sink into the freezing shallows

he wraps his noose around me and

keeps me warm for now

i cannot distinguish the smell on my hands

or the taste on my lips as he slips away

behind a closed, locked door

mourning a  dead dog or an empty bottle

he stumbles toward me and he has been crying

for what will happen next

under control

my bruises were the color of revenge in a pinkish tone

revenge for words i didn’t say words he heard years ago

from some nobody walking down the street like some kind of

hard ass but i got a knife held to my throat as he told me

to take off my clothes   i guess i shouldn’t come here anymore

i never learn   those days were things i couldn’t dream

my mind was liquid and my hands shook   what’s your name

little girl? but i wasn’t little i was 36-24-36 and i could rule

the world   once he took me aside and said don’t you

worry your pretty little head you want it you got it and

and i was a PRINCESS running down the street from

screeching tires that chased me across town and finally

caught up   thrown in the backseat with a half breed

who kissed my neck and took my money my freedom

my life everything will be a.g. ’cause we got it all

under control…and there i lie on this hotel bed

watching him convulse from some kind of overdose

but he’ll be fine ’cause they got it UNDER CONTROL

and i took a 40 oz to quench my thirst as i heard

my name in his plans   i wanna talk and i sighed

knowing no words would come from these lips because

i never had a conversation that involved words when they had me

under control